Writer puts your complaints to good use
Book review by Nancy
Snipper
We all do it:
complain. Some of the things we complain about are out of our control. We
complain about the weather, getting older, parking tickets, landlords, potholes
and traffic. We even complain about our in-laws, a difficult co-worker, and
yes, our spouses. Most of us vet; we just don’t stop and think about turning
our complaints into a strategy whose outcome will produce a positive result. Amy
Fish, a complaint expert, has recently written an 86-page book, titled, “The
Art of Complaining Effectively.” This how-to-book enables us to move our
complaints out of the negative zone - making them work in our favour for optimum
results. The books are now being snapped off the shelves.
“Essentially, the book
offers five key tips – all starting with the letter “C” for complaining. To
sweeten the task, there’s a cookie recipe at the end of the book,” laughs
Fish. It’s full of humour, with many funny
personal anecdotes wherein Fish herself even finds it hard to practice what she
preaches. She certainly can laugh at herself, and you realize this when your
read the book. But Fish, takes complaining to heart.
First off, she tells
us to keep calm by letting a little time pass before raising your complaint. “If
you call in and you feel upset, you’re less likely to get the problem resolved.
Secondly, you need to be concise: be
clear in your head what exactly you’re complaining about. Cross out the ones
that aren’t that important. Next, you need to choose the desired result you
want – what you are aiming for before you engage in the complaint.”
Here Fish revealed
that so many people just get angry, but don’t give ideas as to how to make
things right.
“Make a suggestion as
to how to fix the specific problem. For example, if you get a bad haircut, let
them know politely, and let them know what it will take to make you happy. For
example, you can ask for a refund, a free product or a gift certificate.”
Fish’s complaint book
came about from both her personal and professional life experiences. She’s been
an ombudsman for several Health Care Centres, including Maimonides, Jewish Elder
Care and Miriam Home
She did this for five
years, and is presently Director of Operations and Quality for Maimonides and
Jewish Elder Care.
Needless to say, Fish
has met her fair share of complaints and very often they are expressed during
her public speaking engagements.
“Many people will ask
me for advice about the personal problems they are having at work or with a
family member or friend. She began to
see that another book was needed to address these problems that involve
personal contexts. So, she’s working on writing another book. It offers 29 tips
that have a trial and error modus operandi application. In fact, the book deals
with how to effectively complain to people who are rather “difficult”. We all
know about those types. This second complaint book will be out next spring.
Fish believes in the
adage: try, try, try again: but advises us to “Use different strategies if the
first or second one doesn’t work”.
She has a Masters Degree
in Health Administration from the University
of Toronto , and did her undergraduate
degree in psychology at Brandeis University in Boston
She’s also worked at
the American Academy
of Neurology, in St. Paul , Minnesota
Married with three
kids aged 14, 12 and 8, Fish has ample opportunities to test old and new
strategies. “Every day I discover new ways to keep my kids on their game.”
If you read Amy’s
weekly highly humorous blog, you’ll discover just how much she has to fend off
complaints about herself. After all, it’s not a prefect world, and Fish is the
first to own up to her imperfections.
“The Art of
Complaining Effectively” is available at Bibliophile, 5519
Queen Mary Rd. 6050 Monkland Ave. 56 Notre
Dame St. W.
Her blog
is: http://complaintdepartmentblog.blogspot.ca/
Her book
page is https://www.facebook.com/TheArtofComplainingEffectively
A Montrealer in San Miguel
Magic
versus misery
By Nancy Snipper
You may
think it absurd to compare Montreal
When I walk
on the streets here, I can smile at the kids, even give them a little hug, and
of course say hello in Spanish to strangers I pass on the sidewalks – if they
don´t beat me to it. It`s really sweet.
Do that in Montreal
As for
Montreal`s old folks, they don’t seem to be anywhere outside. They`re shut away
in senior “care” homes where their only company is the one nurse tending to 45
other poor souls. Such is the norm in Montreal
I fear
getting old in Montreal
Such was
the case for a famous Italian restaurant on St-Laurent Street, a hotspot for
movie stars and local celebrities. The menu had the word ‘pasta’ in it, and for
that the owner was handed a humongous fine.
Word
spread all over the world about this ludicrous fine and the malevolence behind
the action. The province’s leader, Pauline Marois said it was a mistake and
sent her henchmen to scout out lesser known places to punish anyone sporting
English signs, and avoid the media.
By the way, all those immigrants I referred to
- they can`t send their children to English schools, nor can anyone whose
native language is English, except if one is born in Canada.
San Miguel
is a community that nurtures us all regardless of language, looks, age and background.
I love this place, so for you ex-Montréalers, enjoy the rest of your happy life
here. As for those nay-sayers, who will surely castigate me for being so
negative about Montreal, just come up for another harsh winter, insufferably
humid summer and take a drive on the streets cratered in potholes. Then try to
get help if you get a flat tire. You may be standing there for a very long time
... but less longer if you speak French.
Also posted on / Également affiché sur: Culture Plus
Also posted on / Également affiché sur: Culture Plus
Related Articles by /
Articles relié par Nancy Snipper: http://smrcultureplus.blogspot.ca/2013/04/cumpanio.html
The House that Herman Built
Herman's House, Canada 2012, 82m, Angad Singh
Bhalla
This very important film was seen at this year’s
Montreal
International Documentary Festival / Ce
film très important a été visionnés lors des Rencontres Internationale du
Documentaires a Montréal de cette année CLICK HERE FOR COVERAGE / CLIQUER
ICI POUR COUVERTURE
What follows is a heart-wrenching portrait of how one man can survive physically, emotionally and spiritually despite being subjected to a cruel and barbaric punishment. What struck me as most amazing is that Herman, despite being in such an exceptionally bad situation, was the one who provided the strength to continue not only to Jackie but also to his sister and many others with whom he has come into contact with over the years.
Ce qui suit est qu'un portrait déchirant de comment un homme peut survivre physiquement, émotionnellement et spirituellement malgré une punition cruelle et barbare. Ce qui m'a frappé comme la plus étonnante est que Herman, malgré dans une telle situation exceptionnellement mauvaise, était celui qui a fourni à la force de continuer non seulement à Jackie, mais aussi à sa sœur et beaucoup d'autres avec qui il est venu en contact avec au fil des ans.
Nancy Snipper's letter to Pauline Marois:
PAULINE
MAROIS:
LE FRANCAIS N’EST PLUS UNE LANGUE DE POÉSIE NI DE LIBERTÉ MAIS DE FASCISME.
MAINTENANT QUAND JE LE PARLE, J’AI L’IMPRESSION QUE MA GORGE EST PLEINE DE SERPENTS ET QUE TOUS MES AMIS SONT ENTOURÉS DE CES SERPENTS QUI VIENNENT DE VOS CHEVEUX ET QUI NOUS ÉTRANGLENT.
MEME SI VOUS VOUS ÊTES FAIT COUPER LES CHEVEUX, VOUS RESTEZ UNE MEDUSE.
Je vous déteste. Vous m’avez enlevé tout mon amour
pour la langue française que j’adorais - dans mon enfance et à l’université; c’était ma matière principale là. C’était ma
vie. J’ai été au pair en France; j’ai passé des étés à étudier la langue à Québec
au Collège Laval. En plus, les livres que j’ai écrits pour les enfants étaient en
français. J’ai même déménagé de Toronto à
Montréal pour être plus avec les francophones - pour vivre avec les
canadiens francophones qui partagent notre pays,
tellement riche et divers - respecté
pour ses politiques démocratiques.
MAINTENANT. JE N’AIME PLUS PARLER le français
PARCE QUE VOUS ME L’ENFONCER DANS LA
GORGE. CA M’ÉTOUFFE. VOUS M’ENLEVEZ TOUT LE PLAISIR DE CETTE BELLE
LANGUE EN LA CHANGEANT EN UNE LANGUE D’OBLIGATION ET D’AUTORITÉ.LE FRANCAIS N’EST PLUS UNE LANGUE DE POÉSIE NI DE LIBERTÉ MAIS DE FASCISME.
MAINTENANT QUAND JE LE PARLE, J’AI L’IMPRESSION QUE MA GORGE EST PLEINE DE SERPENTS ET QUE TOUS MES AMIS SONT ENTOURÉS DE CES SERPENTS QUI VIENNENT DE VOS CHEVEUX ET QUI NOUS ÉTRANGLENT.
MEME SI VOUS VOUS ÊTES FAIT COUPER LES CHEVEUX, VOUS RESTEZ UNE MEDUSE.
Nancy Snipper
[Related posts / postes liés:
The Agony of the Artistic Temperament
by Nancy Snipper
Have you ever been told you have an artistic temperament?
Have you ever been told you have an artistic temperament?
Vincent Van Gogh, Schumann, Beethoven and poet, Sylvia Plath (top to bottom).
Is this a compliment or a softly delivered insult? I can remember being told by my mother that I was different, that I didn’t see the world as others did, that writing poetry at the age of nine was not an activity most pursued with élan, even if it would earn you a gold star from your teacher.
The fact is, I was kind of a word nerd, a dreamy escapist who felt my way as the only way, and the condition worsened when I discovered Herman and the Hermits. Great! Now I could travel across the Mercy, get inspired write poetry and then put the words to music. I could become a lyric goddess, inspired by the water under the ferry I was riding!
My imagination seemed to control most of my life. Even when I had my tonsils out, I woke up and began writing a poem about darkness. Heavens to Betsy, what was happening to me?
One day when my turtle died and I cried for a week, my mother sat down to explain that I had an artistic temperament. I felt rather happy to hear this, because I didn’t understand what this meant, but I found the phrase to be poetically pleasing to the ear. I immediately began writing little verses whose words rhymed with ‘ment’ – ‘bent’, ‘lent’ and ‘sent‘could fit nicely into a 4-line verse. Then I became really excited with the word ’resent’. It was secretly aimed at people in my teens who did not accept my ‘artistic temperament’.
Later on in life, I began to see that I was overly sensitive to people’s joking about me. In fact, I was an emotional dragon, spewing out invectives against the world in my poetry and songs.at the world.not even a diva. I had achieved nothing, so there was no justification for that title. I just had a lot of ideas that wanted to be expressed in poetry and music.
Now decades later, I am proud to say I no longer have that artistic temperament, where the universe where my feelings and thoughts were all that mattered.
Working with other artists as an interviewer and collaborator on projects I began to see that some artists lack a connection to the real humdrum very necessary aspects to daily living. Many of the people I interviewed seemed to live in an altered state and in a different reality from the one I and most other face every day. Getting up, feeling aches and pains, going to work, struggling with traffic, getting annoyed by a co-worker who did not want to do his fair share of a teaching project, even feeling bored and turning on the sleep tube (TV).
So what was it that changed me?
Maturity I hope, and the fascination I have with others rather than myself as a writer, observation is tantamount to the craft. Meeting a new person or catching up with a friend you haven’t seen for a while is like unwrapping a new gift - surprises galore. Everyone is an exclusive package, and even if they have that artistic temperament which to me translates as picky-picky, inability to laugh at one’s weakness, sensitive to every comment made or dodgy in responsibility (this may not be your take on the term), I find this über fascinating.
Take the composer Mahler: he totally disallowed his wife to pursue her musical career as a composer. He insisted that she must remain subservient to him and that, as his muse, her role was to be present and supportive of his moods. He guarded his artistic temperament, putting his creativity above his marriage.
Plato said that artistic temperament is divine madness. Freud called it a dark angel of destruction. Psychiatrists have noted that many great artists suffer from a deep neurosis that can result in self destructive behavior: Vincent Van Gogh, Schumann, Beethoven and poet, Sylvia Plath.
The fact is, I was kind of a word nerd, a dreamy escapist who felt my way as the only way, and the condition worsened when I discovered Herman and the Hermits. Great! Now I could travel across the Mercy, get inspired write poetry and then put the words to music. I could become a lyric goddess, inspired by the water under the ferry I was riding!
My imagination seemed to control most of my life. Even when I had my tonsils out, I woke up and began writing a poem about darkness. Heavens to Betsy, what was happening to me?
One day when my turtle died and I cried for a week, my mother sat down to explain that I had an artistic temperament. I felt rather happy to hear this, because I didn’t understand what this meant, but I found the phrase to be poetically pleasing to the ear. I immediately began writing little verses whose words rhymed with ‘ment’ – ‘bent’, ‘lent’ and ‘sent‘could fit nicely into a 4-line verse. Then I became really excited with the word ’resent’. It was secretly aimed at people in my teens who did not accept my ‘artistic temperament’.
Later on in life, I began to see that I was overly sensitive to people’s joking about me. In fact, I was an emotional dragon, spewing out invectives against the world in my poetry and songs.at the world.not even a diva. I had achieved nothing, so there was no justification for that title. I just had a lot of ideas that wanted to be expressed in poetry and music.
Now decades later, I am proud to say I no longer have that artistic temperament, where the universe where my feelings and thoughts were all that mattered.
Working with other artists as an interviewer and collaborator on projects I began to see that some artists lack a connection to the real humdrum very necessary aspects to daily living. Many of the people I interviewed seemed to live in an altered state and in a different reality from the one I and most other face every day. Getting up, feeling aches and pains, going to work, struggling with traffic, getting annoyed by a co-worker who did not want to do his fair share of a teaching project, even feeling bored and turning on the sleep tube (TV).
So what was it that changed me?
Maturity I hope, and the fascination I have with others rather than myself as a writer, observation is tantamount to the craft. Meeting a new person or catching up with a friend you haven’t seen for a while is like unwrapping a new gift - surprises galore. Everyone is an exclusive package, and even if they have that artistic temperament which to me translates as picky-picky, inability to laugh at one’s weakness, sensitive to every comment made or dodgy in responsibility (this may not be your take on the term), I find this über fascinating.
Take the composer Mahler: he totally disallowed his wife to pursue her musical career as a composer. He insisted that she must remain subservient to him and that, as his muse, her role was to be present and supportive of his moods. He guarded his artistic temperament, putting his creativity above his marriage.
Plato said that artistic temperament is divine madness. Freud called it a dark angel of destruction. Psychiatrists have noted that many great artists suffer from a deep neurosis that can result in self destructive behavior: Vincent Van Gogh, Schumann, Beethoven and poet, Sylvia Plath.
Sigmund Freud
An artistic temperament can work for you though. It is the driving force behind all those obsessive creative ideas that won’t leave you alone until you make them real. So next time someone tells you that you have an AT, say thank you and get on with that new thing you want to bring to life.
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